“I just felt really free to be who I was going to be.”


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“I suddenly felt like I could have a future that I wanted to live in.”


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Hiding Who I Was Almost Broke Me


"For weeks, I had these debilitating panic attacks."



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In college, Ben Conard envisioned a successful future - only being gay was not part of that equation. His struggle with his sexuality manifested itself in some unhealthy ways, both mentally and physically. Fortunately, a patient, affirming and loving sister helped ease him out of the closet, resulting in vastly improved mental health and a feeling of true freedom.



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"That was just the final step in knowing that my parents had really accepted me for who I was and that it was real."


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"My mom turned to me and said, "Well, do you feel like a boy?"


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"I had just heard what being transgender meant and it was this epiphany moment of wow that's an exact description of how I feel."


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From childhood, Ray felt drawn to presenting as male but tried to mask it as he grew older. When he learned what being transgender meant, however, it was like an epiphany that perfectly described his feelings. In a car ride with his mom, he nervously asked his mother for a boy’s haircut, marking the first step in acknowledging his true self. His family adapted, and while it took some time, they would eventually learn to call him Ray and use male pronouns. The defining moment came in a hospital when his mom referred to him as her son, a small but powerful confirmation that he was truly seen and accepted.


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"You're shining my gay wife's boots. How 'bout that!"


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"What you won’t do is disrespect my kids."


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